The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills recap: 'Horsing Around'

The major action happened about halfway through the episode when Lisa V. and Lisa R. took a private jet to Ohio to pick up a tiny horse for Ken’s 70th birthday. I promise you everything I just wrote is accurate. Apparently, Lisa felt the need for more animals on their property, and a mini horse was the natural solution. The pair take a plane courtesy of her friend “Mossy” and are dressed like they’re headed to dude ranch in prom dresses under 200.


Like jeans, cowboy hats, and boots. They’re going to Ohio. I repeat Ohio. The Midwest. Ohio. Eventually they thankfully realize that they look quite ludicrous. It’s also unclear during this entire time whether they’re kidnapping this poor animal or borrowing it or adopting it. Finally they get to the farm and meet Rosebud, the tiny horse who’s wearing a tutu for no apparent reason. There’s hours of fun and petting and holding and blah blah. But then Lisa R. tried to run with Rosebud and the horse seems to struggle. Could it be lame?


Well Lisa V. has no place for a lame mini horse! What the hell would she do with that? So they decide to just put the horse on hold and have a doctor check it out. It’s basically like they went to BCBG and put a dress on hold for prom… except this dress is a diminutive horse. WANT MORE? Keep up with all the latest from last night’s television by subscribing to our newsletter. Head here for more details. So the ladies take Mossy’s plane back to Bev Hills and celebrate Ken’s 70th with — what else? — a big hat party. Old men love those!!!


Ghosts of Housewives Past return like Camille and Lisa R. ’s lip competition, Taylor. The latter announces that she’s moving back to Beverly Hills and maybe to Lisa V. ’s neighborhood!!! Well, Vanderpump is not psyched about Lips McGee back in the ‘hood. Kyle then reveals that she thinks the mini horse was actually a small pregnant donkey! And the tutu was to hide her burgeoning belly!!! Is this a scam that actually happens?


 Kyle should host a To Catch a Predator show on donkey breeders. During lunch, Taylor says she doesn’t fully understand Yolanda’s happy/sad Instagram feed. Frankly, I don’t understand why Taylor would need Instagram but sure. She also thinks Yolanda has been misdiagnosed. I feel the seeds being planted for a major story line. Finally, Lisa gives a big toast to Ken and alludes to a “69” in his future, which makes Pandora squirm (and the viewers). Then, most of the gals jump in the pool in white sequined formal dresses (also Lisa V. is sans bra), and then somebody shoves Ken in, and he almost breaks a hip. What a fun big hat party!